Prepare for the Apocalypse!

A few days ago I watched a report on German television. It was about people who were stockpiling and taking precautions for the impending crisis a.k.a apocalypse. I was surprised to see how many online shops had specialized on emergency supplies, especially since the start of the Euro crisis.

I have to admit that the report raised a smile on my face. I guess I’m just not someone who worries about the future – which I realize is funny considering I write dystopian fiction. In The Other Life, Sherry and her family have to live in a bunker for years and wouldn’t have survived without their provisions, after all...

 But even though I won’t start stocking our basement with survival equipment, I thought I shouldn’t keep the most important items for the apocalypse (according to the report and survival shops) from you.

1. Get rid of your money

Yes, you read that right. Our money will lose in value. So if you insist on hanging onto your paper money, the only thing it’ll be good for in the near future will be for keeping a fire going. Yep. That’s what I learned on websites and in the report. What you can do? Buy gold. Apparently gold won’t lose its value. So there. But do not hide the gold in your house. Scavengers will find it and kill you for it. Instead bury it in your backyard and don’t forget to bury other metal stuff too, so the scavengers with their metal detectors will have a hard time finding your gold supply. I hope for your sake that your memory is better than that of squirrels. They only find about 25% of the nuts they dig into the ground.

2. Food supply

If you want to survive the apocalypse you need food supplies in your basement. Better yet in your own private bunker. Of course you can’t take fresh vegetables and fruit with you. They won’t last for years. The solution: Dehydrated and dried food. It doesn’t take as much space as fresh products and it’s nonperishable. If you think you’ll have to eat the same thing for the remainder of your existence, you’re wrong. Apparently you can get almost anything in powder or dehydrated form.

Want chocolate mousse while the rest of the population gets wiped out by a snow storm? No problem. Chili con carne, hamburger in the can, tomato soup, spaghetti with meatballs, scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, risotto, butter and milk pulver etc. The prepared survivalist won’t have to forgo anything.

3. Equipment

You don’t want to sit in the dark. What you need: a headlamp, batteries, crank light, flashlight, glow sticks and candles (am I the only one who’s worried about open fire in a closed bunker?)

You’ll need a camping stove for your meals and of course a heater to keep you warm. Some device for water storage and purification. Vitamines and minerals. And a first-aid kit in case one of you wants to give birth in the bunker or cuts their fingers off or some other appendage.

 This list could go on and on.
Are you prepared for the apocalypse? Do you think I’m taking this too lightly?

(Btw, the winner of the copy of The Other Life is brookea_2006. You’ll get an email from me soon).
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Passionate Bookworm said...

I dont watch the show, but my mom has been stock piling Dehydrated foods and such for a couple years now >.< and they have a wood stove, and chickens and such.. its a farm they are pretty used to hard work lol. I on the other hand.. will have to hope I can make it the 7 hour drive home so I can live with them!

Anonymous said...

I still have propane leftover from the year 2000. So I think I'll suffer with everyone else this time around. :)