MILA 2.0 launch week: Ten Reasons Why Androids are Cooler Than Me

Hey everyone!  If you've read any previous League of Extraordinary Writers posts this week, you're probably aware that MILA 2.0 debuted yesterday, and holy cow, what a crazy, surreal, awesome and terrifying feeling that is! To borrow an analogy from Lauren Oliver, I think it must feel a little like sending your child off to college. I raised MILA, fed her, groomed her, watched her blossom from a wee little outline into a full-grown story, and now I'm booting her out the door to fend on her own, hopeful that I've done all the necessary things to make her survive out in the world. Plus, the very best part?  I get to share her with all of you!

(Disclaimer: Lauren actually used that analogy to describe what it feels like to end a trilogy. I think it works here, too--but without the sadness, since I know I have another year left with my characters. Also, Lauren sounded way cooler when she said it.)

And that about taps out any serious thinking I can muster at the moment. Please forgive me, but after spending last week traveling through Utah, Washington, and Oregon on the amazing Dark Days Tour and then ending up in the mountains of Georgia for a writer's retreat, I am still recovering from a) severe lack of sleep, b) jet lag, and c) random bouts of Justin Bieber singing, and am just the tiniest bit deranged. Which is why I am now bringing you THIS in celebration of MILA 2.0's release:

Ten Reasons Why Androids are Cooler Than Me

1.  Androids don't forget to shave their legs during the chillier months in winter, then show up at school pick-up all "heyyy!" in their shorts on that unexpectedly sunny day, only to look down and realize that they are part Woolly Mammoth.

2. Androids don't have to shave, period.

3.  Androids can eat an entire box of Thin Mints in one day and not feel bloated. Not that, uh, I would ever do such a thing, but if I did, I would bet that I'd totally feel bloated. And a little nauseous.

4. Androids can wear their skirts as short as they want without worrying about some dude thinking that equals an invitation of sorts--because if he did, they would go all TARGET DOWN on his entitled butt, YO.

5. Androids can see in the dark, which would make for less awkward bruising and really cut back on that nightly electric bill.

6.  Androids could sweep into a puppy mill and rescue All The Dogs, and no one could do a darn thing to stop them. Then, they could eat all the mean people's heads. (Okay, maybe I made that last part up.)

7.  Androids could have their own personal playlists built into their brains to listen to whenever they wanted (a playlist which may or may not include Justin Bieber.)

8.  Androids do not catch the stomach flu cooties every year like clockwork, even when their tiny little plague-ridden android children bring the cooties home from android school.

9. Androids always remember where they put their keys, and do not ask "Where is my cell phone?" while actually talking on said cell phone. (D'OH!)

10. Androids can sing Justin Bieber songs without fear of repercussions.


MARGO said...

If I was an android, I would use my l33t haxx0r powers to make the pedestrian crossing signal only take 3 seconds as opposed to the usual eternity.

Very excited to read Mila! :)

Anonymous said...

This is making me want to read Mila, but also really, to be an android. The not shaving thing alone is worth it. SO ESSIDED TO READ THIS BOOK!

Debra Driza said...

Selma---oooh, now THAT is cool!
Dana--Yessss, a fellow non-shaver! And thank you!