The Top 10 Cyborg Upgrades
By Marissa Meyer
There was a time when fictional cyborgs were a rather wimpy bunch—observe
the Tin Man from Oz. But over the years, writers and artists have latched onto
the awesome potential of combining man and machines. From classic villains,
like Darth Vader and the Borg, to modern-day heroes, like Inspector Gadget,
cyborgs have developed some seriously envy-worthy upgrades over the years.
Here are my top ten.
1. Long
Battery Life. Who needs sleep and food when you can
keep chugging along like the Energizer Bunny? In Terminator 2 we learn that the futuristic assassin can run for 120
years on a single power cell. How’s that for stamina?
2. Hive
Brain. Sure, the Borg from Star Trek are
supremely eerie, but there’s something admirable about how they tirelessly
strive to assimilate all knowledge into a single shared brain. It’d be kind of
like having constant access to Wikipedia.
3. Steady
Supply of Useful Gadgets. Growing up, I was in
awe of Inspector Gadget for solely this reason. Whether you’re in need of a can
opener, a screwdriver, or a grappling hook, your resident cyborg is bound to
have just what you need, just when you need it.
4. Photographic
Memory. Never experience blank-mind syndrome
again. With a photographic memory, you’ll ace every exam, recall every name at
a cocktail party, and always know exactly where you put your keys.
5. Volume
Control. The great thing about a lot of cyborg
abilities is that they’re adjustable. Super sensitive hearing is great and all,
but gosh, wouldn’t it be great to turn the noise down sometimes? No more blaring rock music from your siblings or
screaming arguments from the neighbors. Pure serenity.
6. Concealed
Weaponry. Fancy weapons are a staple in the
cyborg genre, and with good reason, as cyborgs have a knack for getting into
loads of trouble. Whether it’s an arm that transforms into a machine gun or
something as simple as a retractable knife in the finger, every cyborg should
have a trick or two up their metaphorical sleeve.
7. Superhuman
Strength. Despite his survivor guilt, even
Detective Del Spooner from I, Robot (yes,
even Will Smith is in the cyborg club) would have to admit that having a bionic
arm is pretty sweet. At least, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have survived all
those superhuman-robot attacks without it.
8. Bionic
Eye. Superhuman strength aside, the Six
Million Dollar Man would have been a bumbling bulldozer without his bionic eye.
It had night and infrared heat vision, was a targeting device, a zoom lens, a
camera, and it could see objects that
were moving too fast for a human eye. Heck, it probably had X-Ray vision too,
he just didn’t want the ladies finding out about that.
9.
Mechanical Skills. Cyborgs and mechanics go hand in hand,
so it’s no surprise that we see plenty of cyborgs who take pride in fixing
the unfixable, such as Jet Black
who’s always tinkering with his spaceship in “Cowboy Bebop.” Never having to
make another appointment for an unexpected car repair? Priceless.
10. Programmable
Dexterity. Some cyborg limbs are seen as
cumbersome and unwieldy, but sometimes there’s an elegance to how these bionic
parts function, with perfect coordination, agility, and grace. With your brain
telling your limbs precisely what to do—and the limbs responding—who’s to say
you couldn’t learn tap dancing overnight, or scale mountains, or break an egg
with one hand like they do on the Food Network? Okay, maybe no one else shares
my egg-cracking envy, but still, the possibilities are endless.
Of course, being cyborg could have its downfalls, too. Say,
going through metal detectors. Or swimming. But for the most part, fiction and
science combined are well on their way toward making bionic human limbs with
some jaw-droppingly awesome abilities.
What would you want upgraded if the technology were
available?
Marissa
Meyer is the author of The Lunar Chronicles,
in which Cinderella is re-envisioned as a teenage cyborg! (Did you see that
coming?) Follow Marissa on Twitter (@marissa_meyer) or her blog (http://www.marissameyer.com/blog).
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