The Crewel Sentence

You can read my thoughts about the marvelous world-building in CREWEL at my Dystopian August review, but today I want to talk about Gennifer Albin's gorgeous sentences.

Gennifer led a workshop on line-editing during Write On Con back in September, and she rocked it. Her sentences are deceptively simple - clear yet so evocative.  I wanted to include some of my favorites here from the first two chapters as to not get too spoilery.  (NOTE: These sentences are taken from the advance reader edition of CREWEL, so they may vary slightly from the final published version.)



From Chapter 1:

"That's why I don't tell them the truth. I want love - not excitement or worry - to be the lingering imprint they leave on me."

"The only constant - the one real thing in this moment - is Amie's fragile hand clutching my own. I hold onto it for life, hers and mine. It anchors me, and when my mother wrenches her away, I shriek, sure I'll vanish into nothing."

From Chapter 2:

"A group of women scurry down behind the official and begin wiping my face and combing my hair. It feels so nice I want to fall asleep. The only thing keeping me awake is the cold, gritty concrete under my bare feet."

"I think of the dining room table and white cake sitting on it, the black blood under its legs, and shake my head. The only thing I'm hungry for is answers."

"Somewhere a girl sits, replacing the weave of the rebound chamber with that of a chamber in the Coventry, effectively moving me from one location to the other. I'm traveling hundreds of miles without moving a muscle."


I hope you enjoyed this teaser! Check out this post to enter to win a signed hardcover of CREWEL!

3 comments:

Vivien said...

OMG, I love the teasers!!!!

Veray said...

Wow this does sound good!

Deirdre said...

Stunning...can't wait for a copy- bought or won!

New reader/follower- I love this blog...great read for a writing break :)

Cheers!